To me, life seems simple. Not necessarily in this order, I enjoy sports, traveling, reading, and having sex with my wife.

My wife, on the other hand, is more complex. She loves to talk about little details and only watches sports when I make her.

So when she approached me less than a month after our marriage and used sex and baseball in the same sentence, I knew this was a detail I should probably listen to.

Over breakfast, my wife said, "Picture this: You have a friend named George, and money is no object to George. George really likes baseball. George likes baseball so much that he'll watch any kind of game from professional to little league. George knows that you like the Kansas City Royals and he invites you to Royals games across the country all the time. You often fly in his private jet to the games.

"One day George invites you to the Royals game in Miami, and you're excited to go. But after George picks you up, you notice that George isn't driving to the airport. Instead, he takes you to a little league baseball field and informs you that he wants to watch a little league game in Texas instead of the Royals in Miami. How would you feel?"

"Well," I said, "I'd probably be mad at George and tell him to drop me off at a sports bar on the way to the little league game."

I'm not a brilliant man, but I did begin to comprehend that there was something more to the story that she wasn't telling me. For one, she rarely talks about sports. And two, the Royals weren't playing in Texas, where we live, for another month, so I knew she wasn't trying to surprise me with tickets. I didn't have a clue where her story was going.

"I wanted to tell you that I didn't get to go the Royals game last night," she said.

"Huh?" I said. "It's the all-star break. No one went to a Royals game last night."

"When we had sex—I didn't get to go to the Royals game. The disappointment you would have felt if your friend wouldn't have taken you to the big game is the same kind of disappointment I felt last night."

"Oh." I understood.

The Kansas City Royals have been referred to as the laughingstock of baseball, and used as a punch-line in the movie Fever Pitch, but this was probably the first time in Royals' history that they'd been referred to as an orgasm.

"Sex isn't very fun when I don't get to go to the Royals game," added my wife. "Why go to any game if we don't go to the Royals game?"

Her point was received. Figuratively speaking, I like Royals games. But I also like little league games because for a man, they're about the same. But from that day forward I determined to make sure I took her to home plate at a Royals game. I would even give her a front row seat.

Excuses
Most men, like me, are often good at creating excuses when it comes to taking our wives to the Royals game. We may be tired, overworked, stressed, or not willing to put in a little extra effort to please her. My excuse the night before was that I was overly excited and then I became impatient. I went straight for the grand slam instead of warming up with a little foreplay. And that led to laziness after I went to the Royals game.

Afterward, I explained to her that we were working on the quickie.

The next day, I discovered that she didn't like the quickie. She told me she didn't have to have multiple orgasms every time, but she wanted at least one. I told her that sometimes it was a lot of work and took a lot of time to guarantee that for her.

But later that day, I realized I was being selfish. I was trying to have my needs met long before I met hers. And it's not like giving her an orgasm is as frustrating and tiresome as changing a flat tire, or as mundane as taking her to the ballet. It's a pretty easy process in the grand scheme of time management.

I learned that my wife wants an orgasm, deserves an orgasm, and that it's my responsibility to give that to her if I intend to regularly go to Royals games with her.

And yes, for those who have been able to decipher the terminology, it took an analogy of sex and baseball to convince me that I should deliver in the bedroom mainly because my wife was able to communicate her point on a level I could understand without hurting my feelings. Using this analogy helped her make a point that is still in play more than a year later.

Now the analogy is a part of our everyday language. We'll be on a date night or at the grocery store and she'll ask me if I want to go to a Royals game when we get home. I'll say yes, request the check, and speed home. And the best part is that we're both enjoying our intimacy together, and we're closer and happier as a result.

Advice to wives
If your husband isn't fulfilling his responsibility of meeting your needs, communicate with him on a level he'll understand. If he plays video games, make a comparison. Ask him to sexually take you to the next level before he moves on to the final stage. Let him know you'll allow him to play more often if he thoroughly completes each task.

If your husband is into movies, tell him you'd appreciate seeing the extended version rather than the deleted scenes.

If he's into football, tell him you need to score a touchdown, otherwise the game may be canceled due to inclement weather.

If technology is his thing, ask him why you're still watching TV on a 19" picture screen when you could be watching TV on a 42" HD plasma screen.

And finally, if he's into food, suggest eating out at Outback Steakhouse instead of Arby's.

Come up with your own lingo and analogies if none of these work. Regardless, your needs should be met. And believe me, if you speak in such a way as to promise more trips to the Royals game as a result, both of you will enjoy sex and each other more.